Rabbi Mel Glazer is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist who can help you navigate these difficult waves of emotion. He is recognized as a national expert in these areas, and is invited to teach and lecture all over North America. Rabbi Glazer is available for individual and group tele-counseling. To learn more about how Rabbi Glazer can help you recover from the pain of your losses, go to http://www.yourgriefmatters.com to see his various healing programs. You may contact rabbi Glazer at 1.877. LECHAIM.
(1.877.532.4246)
| KIPPOT - traditional skull caps (plural).
Kippah is singular. KRI’AH - a ritual act, performed just before the funeral service, of tearing or cutting a garment or a ribbon provided for the purpose. It symbolizes the inner tear made by death in the life of the mourner. MA’ARIV - the service recited daily after nightfall. It consists of the Shema (and its blessings), the Amida, Aleynu, and Mourners Kaddish. MEMORIAL PHRASES - Phrases commonly seen on Jewish monuments are (po nikbar/nikbera) abbreviated as  - “Here liesburied.” (t’hei nishmato/nishmata tsrura bitsror hachayyim usually abbreviated  “May his (her) soulbe bound up in the bond of life.” (zichrono/zichrona livracha), usually abbreviated  “ May his (her) memory be a blessing.” The name of the deceased is often added to this phrase. (alav/aleha hashalom) “Peace be upon him/her”  (Hamakom y’nachem etchem b’toch sh’ar avelei tzyon vi’y’rushalayim)   “ May God comfort you among the mourners ofZion and Jerusalem.” This phrase is provided by tradition for those wishing to comfort the bereaved. MINYAN - a group of ten adult Jews gathered for the purpose of prayer. The presence of a minyan is required by Jewish law for the recital of the Mourner’s Kaddish and other prayers which are public expressions of praise of God. A minyan may consist of both men and women in some congregations.
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A. BEFORE DEATH OCCURS 1. SPEAK TO A FUNERAL DIRECTOR BEFORE THE IMMINENT DEATH OF A FAMILY MEMBER OR SOMEONE FOR WHOM YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE. You will be better able to evaluate a funeral company’s services in a less stressful situation. Check to see if your synagogue or community has a contract with a funeral home. The Funeral Director will already be acquainted with you when the death occurs and be able to help you more effectively. 2. FIND OUT WHAT SERVICES THE FUNERAL DIRECTOR’S FIRM PROVIDES. These services can include transportation to and from the cemetery or coffin purchase. Notice if the staff is courteous and whether the company’s prices are reasonable. 3. INCLUDE THE DYING PERSON IN THESE DISCUSSIONS IF AT ALL POSSIBLE. Having some control over one’s own final arrangements at a time when control over life and death is fleeting, is crucial, and a final, kind gesture to the dying. 4. CREATE THE FUNERAL AS A LIFE-PORTRAIT AND A LIFE-CELEBRATION; DISCUSS WHO WILL SPEAK AT THE FUNERAL AND WHAT THEY SHOULD SAY. Consider your loved one’s accomplishments and values, what life-lessons they taught, and what they want their children and grandchildren to remember about them. 5. PURCHASE A BURIAL PLOT. Think about whether the plot is conveniently located and if the cemetery administration is responsive to your needs. 6. DETERMINE IF THE CEMETERY IS A KOSHER AREA. That means there is an area dedicated specifically for Jewish burial. 7. NOTICE IF THE GROUNDS OF THE CEMETERY ARE CAREFULLY MAINTAINED AND THAT THE ENVIRONMENT IS A PLEASANT, RESTFUL ONE. This is also important for those who will be visiting the grave site. |
© Rabbi Mel Glazer, 2007